9 September 2011

Thinking Paper #88 - Can everyone please stop doing flashmobs now?

By Tim Massingberd-James

Abstract

Flashmobs are boring now. Please stop doing them. They aren't quirky or amusing. Those people are only taking pictures of you on their camera phones because their souls have been destroyed by modern life to the point where their existence no longer has any purpose. They really think you're twats.

Can everyone please stop doing flashmobs now?

The term flashmob emerged in 2003 to describe groups of 'those idiots' who got together suddenly in public places, performed something 'quirky', and then pissed off before anything got thrown at them. They weren't that good then, but eight years on the iipba really wishes they'd give it a rest.

Now mostly performed as marketing campaigns for mobile telephone operators and supermarkets, flashmobs never really had any meaning, they just pretended to be spontaneous. However, when you suddenly find yourself eight years later doing exactly the same spontaneous thing, and trying to drag what remaining friends you have out to do the same spontaneous thing, your life no longer has any purpose. Maybe you should think about trying to create some actual art, or leaving a note and walking slowly but purposefully out into the cold waves of the North Sea.

Some might think that flashmobs are good because they make people feel part of a community, and some might even have met their civil partners through a flashmob. That's fine, but why don't you just go to a choir or a dance class? Why do you have to constantly invite people to things on facebook, or send them constant emails about exactly the same idea as has now been done over and over for nearly a decade?

Conclusion

As with most things, 'those idiots' are only doing flashmobs because they are crying on the inside. The sooner they come to terms with that and drink themselves to death the better.

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