Dear Iain Duncan Smith,
We are the IIPBA - a cutting edge think tank based in the made up world of the internet. We hold several GNVQ's between us covering areas including home economics, hairdressing and the politics of employment.
We are writing mainly to let you know about an idea we came up with in the pub last night. You seem to have been a bit concerned of late about something called youth unemployment. It's on the rise right? We've also noticed that you've raised and will probably continue to raise the retirement age to try and ensure that we work solidly until we die so that we can pay off the overdrafts of really rich people.
Now, we're only a bunch of polytechnic drop outs, but it seems to us that if you're making people work longer into old age, in turn you are depriving young people of the opportunity to work. In the 1970s the government had a problem with youth unemployment and decided to start paying old people to retire sooner so that the young Turks could have their job.
Please could you consider taking forward this proposal and others set out in summary below:
1. Could you please grow a moustache? We think that it will give you gravitas
2. Could you please send us a signed copy of your Quiet Man speech from 2003?
3. Could you please write a follow up to your 2003 book "The Devil's Tune"? The IIPBA really enjoyed it and have been eagerly awaiting a sequel ever since
We look forward to hearing from you.
Kind regards,
The IIPBA
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