2 September 2011

Thinking Paper #80: Tony, Mandy and the other one - a reflection‏

By Ron Ford Golightly

Abstract

To mark the return of another Parliament, the IIPBA looks at what the big names of that previous lot have been up to recently. We bring you the three amigos - Tony "the horseshoe" Blair, Gordon "Pants down" Brown and Peter "Manilow" Mandelson.


Tony

Tony continues to get browner, smoother and richer with each day that passes. He CLAIMS to be solving the Middle East peace process and Africa, however, he seems to be far better at either praising or scolding his heir, Davey "the pink" Cameron for being too much or not enough like him. In his spare time, Tony likes to reverse the process of aging, encourage people to bomb Iran and bask in the most beautifully timed exit of any Prime Minister in history.

"Pants down" Brown

Gordy has been flat out writing really, really boring books. He has allegedly been spotted in the House of Commons doing his job and he is said to have returned to his original passion in life - rocking horses (google: gordon brown rocking horse rumour)

Mandy

Like all good socialists, Mandy has regrown his moustache in tribute to his idol and mentor,Tom Selleck. He is also said to be tickled pink at earning a pretty penny being a "senior advisor" to an investment bank or two. When he's not combing his moustache and "advising", he enjoys sitting on a chair around a board of people who specialise in advising cheese manufacturers in the ex-Soviet Union. The latest rumour doing the rounds of the IIPBA's tea room is that he has been approached by the Bilderberg group to play the role of "Arch villain" ahead of the enslavement of the human race.

Reflecting thoughts

They were once friends, then some of them weren't, then some of them got angry and then things didn't get done. They now do other stuff with pens and keyboards and computers and books and money. And they are part of the "Global elite" or something. Scary isn't it. Best lock your doors and get a bottle of nice wine in.

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