27 September 2011

Thinking Paper #120 - We are not Denmark‏

By X. Fun


Lord West likes boats, but after Daddy Dave pulled the bath plug out, all the liquidity dribbled away and now he has fewer frigging frigates than funny Hans next door who crosses all the o's in his name. Lord West, whilst strangling a rubber ducky, says we are not Denmark.The IIPBA investigates whether or not Britain is Denmark.

Undskyld, jeg kan ikke tale dansk.
  • Forbes, an American company, lists Denmark as the Happiest Country in the World. uSwitch.com, a British company, lists Britain as resembling a "tired and rather dry old scrotum".
  • Denmark has elected a female prime minister. She is a lefty. Margaret Thatcher is believed not to have been a lefty.
  • Denmark owns Greenland. We own a pair of rocks next to Argentina and a lot of penguins, but we do not own Greenland. But if we did that would be nice.
  • Danes can cross a bridge to Sweden. It is not possible to do this from Barnsley.
  • When the Germans invaded Denmark in 1940, it took two hours. This is approximately how long it takes me to move five inches on the M25. Panzers would find this difficult. May we at least pride ourselves on our invasion-proof infrastructure?
Concluding remarks

Unless bidding for lucrative Scandinavian research contracts, the IIPBA freely admits to knowing very little about Denmark. Thank goodness for Wikipedia. Further studies will be carried out to ascertain whether or not Hans Christian Andersen was really a paedophile.

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