Abstract
Tony Blair dunnit, so did Dave, his spiritual devolvee. Ed Miliband has now said it. "MODERNISING". But what the bloody hell is it?
To modernise or something
Like everything in politics, modernising is code for something else. "We have announced an inquiry" = we don't know what to do and/or care. "I am very concerned" = I really need to look human etc.
When a political party says that it is modernising, it means that a party is out of touch with public sentiment on key political issues. It means that it needs to (a) invest more in focus groups to determine what people think and therefore what it thinks (b) translate this research into sensible policy, and (c) get a nice new face to communicate this with a really big smile whilst surrounded by an audience full of people from ethnic minorities.
Concluding remarks
When Ed Miliband says that he is "continuing to modernise" the Labour party, he means that he doesn't know what people think or feel and needs to employ more experts in market research to discover this. Some would argue that it would be nice to have politicians who have sufficient contact with reality to know this already. The IIPBA would argue that what we need is a post-bureaucratic revolution to end all revolutions.
As the old saying goes "a party that modernises together, erm wins an election or something".
See you tomorrow
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