16 September 2011

Friday's Thinking Points

By Ron Ford Golightly and Tim Massingberd James

In a week dominated by tarts and Vickers, we reflect on the big news:
  • That glint in Dave's eyes during his visit to Libya this week showed the first signs that he's caught the "bug for war" that slowly sent Tony Blair mad.
  • George Dawes, the huge baby from Shooting Stars, has swum the Thames in an attempt to consolidate his "national treasure" status.
  • High street retail figures are down as humanity slowly realises that it can't just keep buying shit that it doesn't need for an indefinite period of time.
  • In what was certainly not a publicity stunt, the Fonz has got an OBE for services to hitting Juke Boxes and saying "eyyyyyy!"
  • Plan B is finally announced by Nick Clegg. It is scarily underwhelming. Ed Balls' Johnson falls off as he realises he has to come up with some new lines to take.
  • The new head of the Metropolitan Police has a double-barreled name. Boris is said to be happy, but ultimately disappointed he isn't a "Buller Boy"
  • Greece, Greece, Greece. Something about Greece and the Eurozone.
  • Gas suppliers decide to kill thousands of old people by putting up prices by at least 15% as autumn arrives.
  • Gideon Osborne tries to dismiss allegations that he once got up to the old "heave ho" with a prostitute whilst sniffing the old "Prince - how rich is your Father - Charlie Charlie". We for one, have no doubt at all that there was any wrong doing.

1 comment:

  1. Thank you for rounding up the important news of the week - I feel I can really keep my finger on the pulse on British news from my outpost in Australia thanks to the IIPBA. Cheers and keep up the good work!


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