26 October 2011

Thinking Paper # 174: Good news China - the kids are alright

By Roniford Golightly

Just one day after the IIPBA warned that we aren't getting into enough debt to finance China's ascent to world domination, our children have come to the rescue. Kind of.  That "media" has it today that children as young as 5 have been running up gambling debts playing games of marbles in the street, with some resorting to stealing to pay them off.

What the rozzers had to say

Police Community Support Officer, Daniel Twitterati Blogosphere Jr, told the Nottingham Star that "Historically this game would involve winning each other's marbles - but it has come to our attention more and more children are playing each other for money, credit cards, greenbacks, widescreen TVs, small plastic trees that smell Alpine fresh and this years must have toy from China".

What the IIPBA has to say

The IIPBA commends this pursuit of pointless materialism in today's youth.  When asked what he wanted to do when he grew up, Little Jimmy Cartwright from the flats said "Take out credit cards so that I can spend thousands of pounds that I don't have on shit that I don't need in order to keep the great manufacturing nations of this fine world going".  Good for you Jimmy. 

Rest easy China

No comments:

Post a Comment

Say things here...