24 October 2011

Thinking Paper #171: EU, EU, EU ... come on and ref-er-en-dum ... EU, EU, EU, come on and join the fun‏

By Ron Ford Golightly

Abstract

Aside from the news that X Factor's Frankie Cocozza threatened to give Louis Walsh a "cherry-bakewell" on national television, everyone, and sadly this is everyone, is STILL talking about this sodding EU referendum. The IIPBA is tired.


Summary

David Cameron is apparently facing his "biggest" backbench rebellion since the time that he tried to introduce "ethnic" foods at the CCHQ canteen. Yawn. William Hague has said something about this being the "wrong question, at the wrong time, in the wrong place, on the wrong continent, with the wrong haircut, in the wrong hotel room, with the wrong special advisor, with the wrong wife etc" . And Ed Miliband said, whilst visiting a paper factory in Burnley, "Look, I KNOW I've got a silly voice, and my face is a little squiffy, but for God sake will someone please listen to me". Elsewhere, Rebels keep beating the drum (a) in the knowledge that it looks really good in front of their silly constituents and (b) in the knowledge that it is safe to do so because they will never win anyway.

The most important bits

1. The vote on whether to have a referendum will not be legally binding.
2. No one cares. Even if we were to have a referendum, turn out would be no higher than 3%.
3. Politicians keep saying "three way" on national television. Ha.

The consequences

The Tory party will tear itself apart as it did in the 1990's, David Cameron will get balder, Eurosceptics will get angrier and more hateful of life.

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