Friday's Thinking Points

With Ron Ford Golightly and Tim Massingberd James

Friday's Thinking Points

• Excellent news...Sarah Palin has decided not to run for Republican candidate for the 2012 US Presidential elections. The whole world breathes a collective sigh of relief, increasing CO2 levels by 7 billion percent.

• Dave wasted an hour of all our time trying to summon the "Bulldog spirit" in the British public during an intentionally lacklustreTory conference. The conference comes to a close and the IIPBA sums it up in four words: cats, bulldogs [and] hush puppies.

• Our creator, and the leader of all mankind, Steve Jobs has died.

• Following the downgrading of Italy's credit rating, Silvio Berlusconi has consoled himself by arranging an orgy with several close family members, an afternoon of Roman gladiatorial bloodiness and an attempt to annex Ethiopia using mustard gas and tanks

• The FTSE did something but no one reported it, then it bounced back again. The media might want to learn something from this.

• Preston bus station has been placed on a list of the top eight places to catch a bus in Preston.

• George Osborne still says that his economic plan is "credible". The Bank of England begs to differ and goes ahead with printing some more money.

• Merv says that this is the worst economic crash ever, causing the IIPBA to downshift from Twinings to Tescos Finest teabags.