10 October 2011

Thinking Paper #146: Liam Fox and Adam Werrity: Q&A‏

Abstract

Liam Fox? That's the question on everyone's lips. The IIPBA has the answers.


What is a Liam Fox?

A Liam Fox is said to be quite a common type of homosapien. The IIPBA completely rejects this notion, and would like to reiterate that Dr Fox is happily married to a stout-looking lady called Jesme. We have noticed in recent days that, by his own admission, a Liam Fox is a "very sorry".

What is the difference between "baseless allegations" and "very sorry"?

A few videos which shoot really big holes in your story.

What is an Adam Werrity?

An Adam Werrity is quite a clever species of human. By his very nature, an Adam Werrity is a skilled manipulator of people. Werrity's specialise in targeting potentially powerful individuals and then riding their tailcoats into the sunset.

Does this go on a fair bit of the time?

Almost certainly. Jobs for the buoys. Whaaaaayyyyy

How many business cards did Adam Werrity actually carry?

He carried 37 business cards in total. The IIPBA's favourite is the one which reads "Adam Werrity - part time twat, full time penis"

What happened in room 341?

All sorts of stuff really. Emails, haircuts, Sri Lankans, erm, national security secrets etc.

What is a self-styled advisor?

Whitehall sources suggest that a self-styled advisor is someone who can comb his own hair and tie his own tie (double Windsor of course).

What will Dave say?

Well, he's already said that he wants answers on his desk by this morning. That's about now. Then he will say, "get over here now Liam. You've been a right naughty pickle. I'm afraid we're gonna have to chuck you out and get David Laws back in the Cabinet somewhere".

What will actually happen?

The poor bureaucrat charged with leading the inquiry will get so confused by all of Adam Werrity's business cards that she will abandon her career in the civil service and sail around the world where she will enjoy eating lovely pieces of tropical fruit and such like.

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