21 October 2011

Friday Thinking Points‏

With Ron Ford Golightly and Tim Massingberd James

Once again, the 24 hours news circus has brought us a week of blood, disease, economic apocolypse and psychological trauma. The IIPBA brings you its thoughts:
  • In a week that brought us the death of Michael Jackson's lookalike, the IIPBA salutes the power of democracy to kill bad guys in an extrajudicial fashion.
  • There's a new Megabus out, with beds! It'll take you from Victoria Coach Station to Glasgow in relative comfort seven nights for a few quid. In the office of Glasgow North MP, Ann McKechin, staff are said to have been working 24/7 on lines to take when this is raised by a local newspaper angry about travel expenses.
  • iPads belonging to Grant Shapps or Sir George Young have yet to be seen in the House of Commons. The IIPBA is disappointed in them. Grant and George, if your spads are going to positively brief the Sunday Times, please make an effort to read it. Hot tip: Luciana Berger and Grant weren't spotted in the Victoria station Wetherspoons together sharing a "2 meals for £6 deal". Luciana had chili con carne, Grant had sausage and mash.
  • The Tory right is finally back to it's default position: Frothing at the mouth about Europe. Dave and the boys are attempting to use very unsubtle subterfuge to convince them all that the single belief they have held above all else for their entire political lives is not worth fighting for.
  • Housing Minister Grant Shapps takes the Big Society a step further with his announcement that people should build their own houses in a "self build revolution". I can't even fix my own washing machine Grant, but I did once put up a shelf successfully. Did you know that Grant's middle name is V? This is true.
  • Politics robot Chloe Smith is now Economic Secretary To The Treasury‎, in a move widely thought to be absolutely bloody stupid. The IIPBA despairs that this is the furthest outside the box our Prime Minister could think. At the very least David Laws, surely, but what about one of the other hundred or more MPs in the Parliamentary Party? The IIPBA thought Mike Penning was a shoo in for it, but Dave was said to be concerned about him building a power base at the treasury.
  • Lynne Featherstone calls for Steve Hilton to be scrapped in a Whitehall wide drive to wipe out small men. Lynne said that this would cut the risk of creating a British Napoleon and therefore war with France and eventually Russia. On balance, we are in agreement with Lynne.

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