Thinking Paper #135: BREAKING NEWS #Catgate, #catgate‏, #catgate‏

By Ron Ford Golightly

Abstract

Theresa May said something in a speech, Adam Boulton got all excited and went all Victor Meldrew all over your face, and then Theresa May called Adam Boulton Andrew because she got all excited about catgate.

The IIPBA's take on catgate

The Queen of Police, Theresa May, said that they couldn't get rid of some pesky immigrant because he owned a British cat (best in the world). Adam Boulton asked her about it, and Theresa May said something about cats and civil servants. It might have been made up, it might not of. What you need to know is that some poor special advisor (SPAD) or civil servant was probably asked to find a really good anecdote to support the case for getting rid of the Human Rights Act.

They searched high and they searched low. They probably even Googled some stuff. And then they found the cat story. It might not be completely true, but someone somewhere would have felt sufficiently pressurised into providing something so they probably said "this is definitely true, now press that bloody send button". The SPAD on the other end would have said, "thank christ we've got something, now cut and paste it in without a second thought". The civil servant would have gotten a bit sweaty and said when asked again, "this is definitely a true story".

Concluding comments

Bureaucrat sent it, SPAD paste it, Tess said it, Adam asked it, the cat done it.