7 October 2011

Thinking Paper #143: #catgate revisited - An open letter to Ranzo Avila‏

By Ron Ford Golightly


The IIPBA writes to Ranzo Avila, the ailurophile at the centre of the #catgate scandal which has torn our country apart.

An open letter to Ranzo Avila‏

Dear Ranzo "the Bolivian" Avila,

We'll get straight to the point, the IIPBA are STILL looking to fill vacancies on our board of trustees after being so cruelly snubbed by Toby Young, Simon Hoggart and Pippa Middleton. We think that you would make an ideal candidate and we would therefore like to invite you to join the IIPBA board.

The IIPBA have been very impressed with the way that you have handled being used as a political football by those pesky Tories and have requested a public apology on your behalf from the Home Secretary. We think that your shop lifting past (4 items from the Debenhams on Oxford Street in 2007) and of course your status as an immigrant will add real strength and depth to the IIPBA team which is mostly made up of polytechnic drop outs and Spanish artists.

The IIPBA have always been strong supporters of everything Bolivian. For example, in 1998 Tim and Ron went on a fact finding mission to Sucre where for the first time, they felt their political and moral compasses being shaped. They had a joyful time there enjoying the Salteñas in the morning and the Chiquas in the evening.

Anyway Ranzo - let us know. And please be aware, you are dealing with a deeply hurt institution which has already received many cuts from insensitive celebrities who have rejected our advances.

Treat us gently.

Kind regards,

The IIPBA team

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