23 August 2011

Thinking Paper #67: The real Andrew Mitchell

By Ron Ford-Golightly


As London drowns in a downpour of beautiful rain and the Battle for Tripoli rages on in a "fog" of propaganda, the IIPBA has a little look at the rather understated Secretary of State for International Development, Andrew Mitchell. Interviewed on BBC breakfast this morning, the IIPBA was impressed with the way he said words like "Bbbrrrritain" and used phrases like "the ebb and flow of war". Despite the fact that he doesn't really talk like normal people do, we actually quite like him. In fact, he is my favourite minister, pipping Nick Clegg to no.1 spot despite Nick Cleggs wonderfully sad face.

The real Andrew Mitchell - Why we like him so much

  • His father is David Mitchell, that young lad off of The Peep Show
  • Andrew Mitchell once won the Westminster Dog of the Year Award, for his dog Molly. The rather attractive Springer Spaniel was said to have an "excellent condition and temperament" and "a very well groomed owner" (Andrew)
  • The Daily Telegraph failed to smear Andrew in expenses shit - the only thing they could pin on him was a purchase of a "13 pence" stick of glue. An angry Daily Mail reader said that "glue-gate" was a "shitting disgrace".
  • Despite voting in favour of the death penalty he votes very favourably for the gays and other such people.
Concluding Remarks

His post bureaucratic credentials are questionable but we will let that slide. To Andrew, we say, keep up the good work helping out the poor people of the world. The IIPBA is here to help in anyway it can.


  1. Can't stand the faux hippie idiot and his strategically placed wrist bands. His mission is to give away as much taxpayer cash as possible as quickly as possible. He has a face one would like to slap with a wet fish.

  2. Tim Massingberd-James24 August 2011 at 09:42

    I agree anon. I always thought Mitchell seemed like he was pretending to care, whilst waiting for Hague to fail so he could get a proper job. Isn't he one of Liam Fox's boys, who still thinks Fox will be leader some day?


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