8 August 2011

Thinking Paper #47: Global financial crisis which began in America 2...hooray for Justine Greening‏

By Ron Ford-Golightly

Abstract

It's all well and good this post bureaucratic age thing (as you know, we're avid fans), but should there have been at least one civil servant in charge of making sure that not all of our beloved leaders went on holiday at the same time?

The Detail

Whilst the US loses an A and Kay Burley gets excited about riots, our records show that David Cameron is still waiting for his cafe latte mochachino in Tuscany, George Osborne is working out on a beach in California, Nick Clegg is somewhere north of Stoke. Other busy people include the Home Secretary, currently trapped in her office, and the Chief Secretary to the Treasury who gave a statement to the Sunday Times outlining that "I am on holiday, I am holiday (phone cuts out)".

The Consequences

Justine Greening is left in charge of the economy and forgets about the unstoppable tide of globalisation and the borderless nature of the global financial system - "We've very much been on the edge of that crisis that we've been seeing in the eurozone and, indeed, in the US". Justine is refering to our geographical location.

Lynne Featherstone (don't ask) is left to make inquiries about who stole what from JJB and Footlocker.

Conclusions

Justine Greening said that "the reality is that you're never on holiday from these jobs".

We beg to differ. Considering George Osborne's sunburnt nipples, David Cameron's refusal to come back from Tuscany and Danny Alexander's statement (see above), it seems fair to suggest that Justine is both technically and actually wrong.

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