19 August 2011

Friday's Thinking Points

With Ron Ford-Golightly and Tim Massingberd-James

Here is a round up of some of the big news to end the week:

  • David Miliband is on holiday at Center Parcs in France, amid accusations that he is too poor to afford to sit in European squares drinking mochachinos. The IIPBA likes David Miliband more now he is a backbencher.
  • David Cameron has issued a "social war on terror". He singled out Brixton, Tottenham and Peckham in his "axis of evil" speech, as Tony Blair looked on fondly.
  • Steve Hilton has returned from his two week holiday in Hungary. He is said to have enjoyed a "relaxing time researching ideas that will piss off nearly everyone in No10" e.g. street Goulash parties.
  • Sally Bercow has avoided looking like too much of a twat on Big Brother, because nobody watched it. Ian Atkinton, a Spot Welder from Daventry, was the only person in the country to watch, telling the IIPBA: "Big Brother is shit".
  • Teenagers are getting cleverer, blonder and prettier - see Thinking Paper # 61
  • Ed Miliband has been talking to himself, insisting this definitely still counts as a "national conversation".
  • Two in every three people in England are now in prison, in what Home Secretary Theresa May described as "the right thing to do".
  • Nick Clegg has got a secondary slot on a local radio station where he says something thoughtful about riots and then No10 agree to hold an inquiry into the riots / kick the issue into the long grass.
  • The X-Factor has returned, with the IIPBA exclusively predicting that Simon Cowbell will choose "the annoying one with the back-story" to win.

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