Thinking Paper #61 – Do only attractive girls get A-Level results?

By Tim Massingberd-James

Abstract

A-Level results day is upon us, and in newsrooms up and down the country lecherous Picture Editors are poring over pictures of teenagers who have just received their A-Level results. We explore why coverage of A-Level results day is always dominated by pictures of attractive blonde girls, when in fact many teenagers are ugly.

Do only attractive girls get A-Level results?

The helpful Sexy A-Levels blog is a demonstration of the picture presented to the country on A-Level results day, when the Picture Editor at the Daily Mail has his best ever excuse to show pictures of sexy 18 year old girls (ideally twins) to sexually repressed middle-aged men.

The rules are simple. Boys should not appear in coverage, but if they do they should either be in the background, or outnumbered by attractive girls by a ratio of four to one. It also offers a unique opportunity for the newspapers to subconsciously underline their mantra about how standards are slipping in A-Levels, because as everyone knows attractive blonde girls are stupid, and not as clever as boys.

Even if this is not actually true, the lecherous Picture Editors haven't got to where they are today by fighting on a level playing field, and need to ensure that a healthy level of sexism in the media – and in society as a whole – is maintained.

Conclusion

Yes, only attractive girls get A-Level results. I seen it in the paper.