11 August 2011

Thinking Paper # 53: The who's who of No10 - characters 6-10

By Ron Ford Golightly

Abstract

The second part of our 'Who's Who of Number 10' series examines more people who keep the news cycle churning, write speeches about being clear, and divert attention from David Cameron's comb-over.

Who's Who of Number 10

James O'Shaughnessy - Bridge Building Coordinator (specialises in maintaining relations between the Notting Hill and the Chipping Norton sets)

James began his career alongside Roger Daring in a Berlin squat (see staff section) . He rose to prominence in the powerful world of think-tankery and then he was invited to lunch by the Notting Hill set. The Notting Hill set introduced him to the Chipping Norton set who got him an invitation to the Bilderberg conference where they issued him with a badge and a goody bag. James does some policy stuff but mostly he tries to keep that young upstart, Rohan Silva, from stealing his job. James seems a good egg, is taller than most in No10 and also went to Oxford University.

Tim Chatwin - ex-dentist and chief Paul Brown impressionist

Tim is an ex-dentist who specialised in dog dentistry. Tim is now Special Adviser to the Prime Minister on Strategic Planning and is responsible for implementing the strategy determined by the Prime Minister and the Cabinet. When we approached No10 to inquire as to what the specifics of this strategy was, the Prime Minister's spokesperson refused to comment. Tim now lives in the gargantuan shadow of Paul Brown, the ex-grid man of No10 who left last year.

Steve Hilton

As we know from Thinking Papers 15, 20, 40 and 43, Steve is an ideas man who enjoys cycling and wearing socks. His favourite type of shirt is white linen and he wears it with three buttons undone on weekdays and no buttons done up at all on the weekends. Some times, Jeremy Heywood, a Senior Civil Servant in No10, tells him to stop being silly.

Kate Marley - Outlook Calendar Operative Assistant

Kate Marley's internet presence is minimal, but Whitehall sources inform us that she enjoys Olympic Greco wrestling, lunch from Pret and mochachinoskinnylatteswithsprinkles . Her dislikes include rioters (be they youths, organic chefs or Opera stewards), Alex Ferguson and Ed Miliband's voice (amen sister).

Larry the Cat

Larry is a cat. He was hired to catch mice around No10 and advise Steve Hilton on strategy. In the winter, Larry sleeps at Steve Hilton's feet to keep them warm.

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