5 August 2011

Thinking Paper #44 - Should Sally Bercow be allowed?

By Jacinta Burrow

The inevitable has finally happened and it’s rumoured she’s to be a contestant on “Celebrity” Big Brother. In the unlikely event you plan to watch, the following translations of previous utterances by Mrs Bercow may be helpful as background.


1. “Doesn’t answer to Mrs Speaker” – except if you are the producer of Today, the Sky newspaper review, Ten O’Clock Live, Question Time, This Week, Big Brother, Have I Got News for You, etc, etc

2. “It was sometimes more like two bottles, except I promised John I wouldn’t say that. Have I mucked it up already?” – Yes

3. “Mr B. is going to go potty. I’ve been done up like a kipper” – When a journalist asks me to strip naked, drape myself in a bed-sheet and stand in front of an open window for photographs, I am unable to say “no”.

4. “Up for having a laugh” – The world reciprocates at my expense. I am yet to realise this.

5. “Hi @misskatieprice…” – Twitter had inured me to the absurdity of my existence

6. “Having a go at writing a novel” – Quentin Letts could do with a holiday

7. “I am the Carla Bruni of British politics” – Low self-esteem and I are not well acquainted

8. “Oliver Letwin… You can take the boy out of Eton but you can’t take the Old Etonian out of the boy” – I went to Marlborough. But that doesn’t look good at my CLP meetings

9. “Altho’ it’s VERY sad Habitat, Jane Norman, Carpetright, Thorntons, Focus DIY are going under, I never *actually* shop at any of ’em…” – I backed Ed Balls for the Labour leadership

10. “LOL” – My kids are going to be in therapy for the rest of their lives

The IIPBA generally disapproves of bans. It is willing to make exceptions in extraordinary circumstances.

1 comment:

  1. Dear Jacinta,

    Bravo.

    Regards,
    Roger

    ReplyDelete

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