17 August 2011

Thinking Paper # 59: Enterprise Zones, Science Cities or Gordon Brown?

Abstract

The Daily Mail told me today that "David Cameron and George Osborne will unveil plans to create 30,000 jobs in hi-tech industries by doubling the number of enterprise zones". Today, the IIPBA will unveil a paper exploring dubious job announcements of old, how they interrelate and what the number 30,000 means to others. The Detail

Does anyone remember "Science Cities"? Of course you don't. In 2005 as Chancellor and then in 2007 as Prime Minister, Gordon Brown announced that he was going to create 100,000 jobs in hi-tech industries with a focus on "enterprise zones", sorry "Science Cities", across the UK. I think you'll like this; the Conservatives greeted these plans with scepticism and said the figures had been "plucked from thin air". Ha, very good.

The number 30,000

1. When the Coalition's welfare reforms come into effect it is estimated (by the Treasury) that 30,000 people in Wales will find themselves cut off from benefits with no employment to go to or "enterprise zones" to enjoy.

2. Earlier this year the Coalition created a 30,000-strong census "police force" (door knockers) to chase up people who failed to fill in their forms. To the best of our knowledge, none of these people lived in "enterprise zones" or "Science Cities".

3. Wayne Rooney spent £30,000 on getting some new hair

Concluding Remarks

If the Coalition led Tory government really want to impress they should take a tip from Gordon Brown. In 2010 the then Prime Minister told the attentive electorate that he was going to create 1 million more hi-tech, skilled jobs if he were to be re-elected. This was a jumbled together figure consisting of fables, reannouncements and optimism. We advise George and Dave to announce a higher figure e.g. 10 million and then justify it by shrugging their shoulders and laughing.

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