8 November 2011

Thinking Paper #192 - Ruth Who?

By Jacinta Burrow

Abstract

Attention, election fans! The Scottish Conservative Party has elected a new leader... No, no, wait! Really, do read on. What else are you going to do for the next 2 minutes? Forward an email to a colleague in the name of “work”?


Scotland Done an Election

The new leader of the Tories north of the border (I know. I didn’t think there were any either) is Ruth Davidson. She is 32, a Glaswegian, openly gay and enjoys kickboxing. The IIPBA would like to congratulate the Conservatives: political candidacy is apparently the one area in which they are unequivocally in favour of genetic engineering (is that you, Steve?)

Davidson’s qualifications are that she used to work for the BBC and once queued behind Sir Malcolm Rifkind at an Edinburgh cashpoint. She is already showing off her political acumen by dissing the Prime Minister of Great Britain and Northern Ireland – otherwise known as the leader of the bit of the Conservative Party that actually wins stuff – as “not my boss”. She’s also had a pop at Ken Clarke (leave it, Tim! She’s not worth it) and the Chancellor.

Babe Ruth defeated Murdo Fraser who admitted in his campaign that the Conservatives have as much chance of winning in Scotland as Miguel has of being nominated for the Turner Prize and wanted to re-brand them as Fans of the City of London (“Unionists”). He lost to Ruthie by just 566 votes. But it’s fine. The IIPBA cannot remember a time when a major British political party was destabilised by wrangling between two senior figures about who should have been leader.

Anyhoo, Davidson is promising radical, “painful” reform (ooo er, Missus) and wants to turn the Scottish Tories into a “fighting force”. She also wants the party to “realise its own potential”, acknowledges that “change is not always easy” but says the party is “willing to step up to the plate”. She plans to speak entirely in cliché until at least the end of Hogmanay.

Conclusion

Does anyone else think Ruth looks like Chloe Smith? Coincidence?

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