2 November 2011

Thinking Paper #184: Dale’s superhardship sweep‏

By Roger Daring

The IIPBA generally quite likes Dales, Dale Winton is notable as someone that we consider a ‘high achiever’ and we often invite him to chair our internal policy review sessions. The Yorkshire Dales are pretty alright too, Tim went to the National Park there once.

However, more importantly, the events at Dale farm seem to be simmering down. Here is our roundup;
  • The police decided to sweep all rules about the use of tazors under the proverbial rug because they didn’t suit them; instead choosing to tazor people willy-nilly as part of their ‘community engagement’ strategy. The IIPBA asked Tim Godwin, acting Police Commissioner, about this issue and he tried to hide from us by covering his eyes with his hands.
  • We believe that the amount of rubbish the police are going to create whilst bulldozing helpless peoples homes further justifies Eric Pickles’ rubbish, rubbish policy. We commend the Pickler and his hearty pelican gullet.
  • The media used a picture of someone holding a cross in front of a fire to lead articles on the issue. The IIPBA believes that this may be in order to sell newspapers and had no relevance whatsoever to the proceedings. Questions have been raised as to whether the cross-bearer exists at all, or whether she was drawn by Steve Hilton.
  • Whilst Pickles spending £250m on rubbish is clearly a very, very good idea, we think that spending £18m on kicking people further into poverty is slightly questionable.
Conclusions

If a tree fell on Ed Miliband in the woods, would his childlike whelp be his most notable criticism of Government policy?

If anyone else says “well, planning law has to be respected” the IIPBA will spontaneously combust and kill everyone and everything.

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