Dear Mr Liddle,
We at the Institute for Ideas in a Post-Bureaucratic Age (IIPBA) proper loved your article entitled “Some suggestions about how the BBC management can save money” (The Spectator, 15 October 2011). As you no doubt know already, we dedicate our sober hours and second-rate intellects to the pursuit of the post-bureaucratic age and in your article we recognised a kindred spirit.
We hope you might like the IIPBA and we particularly commend your suggestion that “all BBC bureaucrats [be] forced by law to share the same surname”. You will be delighted to learn that the IIPBA employs no decision support analysts whatsoever and no operating officers, junior or senior. The IIPBA has never used Data-Driven DSS, Excel, OLAP, or Model-Driven DSS.
As per your first suggestion for further BBC cost-savings, we can all define our jobs with ease. These definitions commonly include “points out that Cheryl Gillan is inappropriately attired for Prime Minister’s Questions” and “has impulsively penned David Cameron’s political obituary”. As for suggestions two to five, the IIPBA has never made an expensive trail for any of our thinking papers and none of them has ever been introduced by a continuity announcer. We do employ an in-house illustrator but, as he is a child, Miguel saves us considerable sums in pay and benefits.
As such, we would like to invite you to become one of our Trustees. The role involves no pay, no work and very little recognition. We can promise you our eternal gratitude and the occasional invitation to a Westminster hostelry. This is also your chance to get one over on your Speccie colleague, Toby Young, who has steadfastly ignored our advances.
I should be delighted to respond to any questions and do make sure that http://theiipba.blogspot.com/ is in your Favourites.
Yours sincerely,
Jacinta Burrow
On behalf of the IIPBA Directors
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