4 November 2011

Friday Thinking Points

With Ron Ford Golightly, Tim Massingberd James and Jacinta Burrow
  • Uh-oh, Ed Llewellyn's planning his next war. "Sources" (is that you Ed?) have said that "if Obama wants to bomb Iran to improve electoral ratings , then so do we". He followed this up by chanting "war" over and over again until he became so excited that he passed out on the floor.
  • Labour's advisers seek to gain new ground by getting all of their MPs to call the government "complacent". Meanwhile, the IIPBA is still struggling to understand how Ed Miliband is Her Majesty's official opposition.
  • George Osborne continues to "undershoot" in most areas of his life. Poor George. On the other end of the spectrum, Hugh "the bastard" Grant is extremely fertile. Exactly what the world needs, another Hugh Grant.
  • The Greek PM is having a "will-they-wont-they" flirtation with unemployment. A source close to the PM said "of course" sitting around watching daytime telly in your pants is preferable to doing a Eurozone crisis, but he was worried he might miss Angela Merkel's stern face.
  • Six lads have been in a metal tube for a year and a half, in the largest pretending-to-be-an-astronaut-experiment ever. When pressed, Putin's spokesman said that the experiment had been a failure because they "didn't even bum".

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