Thinking Paper # 19: Who is the "Daddy of all Quangos?"

By Ron Ford-Golightly

Abstract

Alan Milburn recently claimed that the NHS Commissioning Board was "the daddy of all quangos". This got us thinking here at the IIPBA so we sat down over a cupcake which cost us £5 and set about answering three fundamental questions: Who is Alan Milburn? Is he right? And who is the real daddy of the the quangos?


The NHS Commissioning Board - THE TRUTH

The NHS is massive. No wait, it's bigger. And the NHS Commissioning Board, according to "Milburnism", is in overall control now of the NHS. This puts it in a pretty good position for the title. As a side note, and if you hadn't noticed, the NHS is being reformed to make it post-bureaucratic. Since David Cameron was 4 years old, all he has wanted to do is reform the NHS to make it post-bureaucratic. Up until the "Great Pause of 2011" he believed that the answer lay in handing healthcare over to Tescos and other such multibillion pound businesses who will definitely put healthcare before profit. The "Great Pause of 2011" is still ongoing.

What is Milburnism?

It doesn't exist - nor for the record does Blairism, Thatcherism or Brownism (sorry John). They're made up.

Other contenders for the title

Oh God, who cares. Maybe the Crown Prosecution Service. Maybe not. The cupcake was eaten quite early on in the "brainstorming" session, people got bored and the conversation petered out.

Recommendations

Our general advice to the PM, which doesn't really apply to this paper, is just to say that you will do things because you don't have to bother actually doing them. No one will really notice, and if they do, it's unlikely that they will care, particularly if it is about Quangos.