14 June 2011

Thinking Paper # 16: What are the post-bureaucratic credentials of the Bilderberg Group?

By Ron Ford-Golightly

Abstract

Every year the world's rich and powerful meet up in a secretive location somewhere in Europe, usually a grand hotel complex (this is TRUE). The attendees are from the worlds of banking, media, finance, business, academia, the armed forces and even European royalty. There are also British Cabinet ministers in attendance, the odd future Cabinet minister, oh and Lord Mandelson. This year, they're meeting in St Moritz, Switzerland and the attendees from Great Britain include:
  • Agius, Marcus, Chairman, Barclays PLC
  • Flint, Douglas J., Group Chairman, HSBC Holdings
  • Kerr, John, Member, House of Lords; Deputy Chairman, Royal Dutch Shell
  • Lambert, Richard, Independent Non-Executive Director, Ernst & Young
  • Mandelson, Peter, Member, House of Lords; Chairman, Global Counsel
  • Micklethwait, John, Editor-in-Chief, The Economist
  • Osborne, George, Chancellor of the Exchequer
  • Stewart, Rory, Member of Parliament
  • Taylor, J. Martin, Chairman, Syngenta International AG

This years Bilberberg conference begs three urgent questions: What on earth do they do/discuss at these retreats? Will Rory Stewart become the next Foreign Secretary? (short answer: yes) And how post bureaucratic is it to allow 130 of the worlds most influential people to decide on global policy and the future direction of the human race?

The Questions you've been asking... answered

1. What on earth do they do/discuss at these retreats?

Well, in short, this is largely unknown. When asked this very question, Lord Mandelson once replied that they just sit around and enjoy the facilities together, for it is a rarity that these individuals have such holidays away from the glare of the public eye. The IIPBA believe that this is plausible. At the other end of the spectrum, certain theorists and wayward analysts, believe that this is where the powerful elite determine future wars, global economic policy and the enslavement of the human race. The IIPBA believe that the latter has already come to fruition thanks to the introduction in 1977 of what some experts refer to as a "9 to 5".

The IIPBA believes that the truth might lie somewhere in the middle of these extremes. Generally speaking, people are stupid, but I think Mandelson underestimates even the stupidest of us if he expects us to believe that the financial leaders of the world don't talk "shop" over their boiled eggs and toast soldiers. On the other hand, the idea that anyone could plot the future direction of humanity over a weekend seems equally ridiculous given the difficulty that the government has had in convincing us that our happiness lay in say, the Big Society.

It seems plausible to the IIPBA that George Osborne might talk to the head of the World Bank for example or the head of the IMF (no wait, he's in prison: set up by the illuminati? What did he know?) over a cocktail or two, possibly get some insights he might not have managed to get at an international conference, or just compare how many lives they've helped / ruined that financial year. The detail of these discussions, the content and the outcome is all unknown.

2. Will Rory Stewart become the next Foreign Secretary?

This afternoon the IIPBA placed an imaginary £200 bet on Rory Stewart becoming Foreign Secretary in this Parliament and were given the odds of 75/1. The £200 is all we have left in our pot of petty cash which is made up of charitable donations. Rory Stewart became an MP in 2010 and he is definitely not a former spook. Upon becoming an MP he also became a member of the Foreign Affairs Select Committee which is unusual progress for a "newby" and he has now been spotted on the attendees list for this years conference. This usually bodes well for the young polician in mention. Tony Blair attended pre 1997 as did Osborne pre 2010. Our analysts argue that his invite suggests three things: recognition by a higher force; that the weekend will be a test, or a scoping out of the individual by the powers that be; and that his attendance is usually a preliminary to a significant promotion, in Stewart's case, to Foreign Secretary (the IIPBA hopes).

3. How post bureaucratic is it to allow 130 of the worlds most influential people to decide on global policy and the future direction of the human race?

In short, very. From our perspective, we can see that this cuts out a certain amount, if not all of the bureaucracy of the usual policy making process. However, if we take it to be true that these individuals are determining the future course of man, then it begs some further questions about democracy which we can't deal with here. We're all about the post bureaucratic age and in this area, the Bilderbergs get a big tick from us.

Conclusion

We'd like to praise and welcome the shape shifting Lizards from the 4th dimension (see David Icke) to planet earth and give our full backing to their work in bringing about, although inadvertently and through the enslavement of mankind, the post bureaucratic age.

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