25 January 2012

Thinking Paper # 218: The art of coincidence: A study

Abstract
 
The IIPBA laughed today as it read that a government press spokesperson had labelled as "pure coincidence" the fact that Ministers had bought twice as many tickets for beach volleyball this summer than athletics.  Pure coincidence?  The IIPBA investigates.
 

The facts as they stand
 
1. Women's beach volleyball is played by women.  They tend to be pretty, tanned, athletic and wear very little in way of actual clothes.  In hot climates volleyball players like to grease themselves up with sun tan lotion (see Top Gun volleyball scene).
 
2. If we take haircuts as a lead, 80% of the current Cabinet members have penises.  These people tend to be heterosexual, middle aged and married.  If we were to take a leap of faith, we might argue that these men enjoy watching young athletic women greased up with lotion playing in the sand.  And we might therefore conclude that they would jump at the opportunity to do so if they thought that it could be carefully disguised* as watching sport.
 
Concluding comments
 
Men enjoy watching the aforementioned type of woman play in sand, greased up in sun tan lotion. 
 
The IIPBA doesn't mind this, as long as Oliver Letwin, who's office sits conveniently overlooking the beach volleyball arena, doesn't ignore the grand vision that is the post bureaucratic age.  We're still watching you Letwin.
 
*By carefully disguised we mean not very carefully disguised.  Beach volleyball isn't even a proper sport.

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