18 January 2012

Thinking Paper # 215 : Should Michael Gove stop treating schools like hotel rooms?

Abstract
In the words of David Cameron, it is "noteworthy to note" that Michael Gove, son of a Preacher man, has top secret plans to use real money, that's real money, to send a copy of the King James Bible to every school in the country.  The Bible is to include, and this is important, a personal inscription from Gove himself.  The IIPBA has never written a prologue for any of God's work before and would probably be a little intimidated to do so, but then we're not Michael Gove. I bet he's done it loads of times. 

Should Michael Gove stop treating schools like hotel rooms?
For the IIPBA, the answer is yes and no.  I've had many a pleasant night in a hotel room.  My favourite is the Holiday Inn on the outskirts of Worcester.  One night back in 2006 I had a steak sandwich in room 32 and watched one of those pay per view "blueys".  It was a really good night.  On another note, Gove could definitely do worse than providing all pupils with free shower caps, single serving soaps and complimentary towels.
On the "No" side, the IIPBA would argue that schools are quite different from hotel rooms and that this should stay as such.  Hotel rooms witness all sorts of bad things e.g. horse play and heavy petting.  Even one of Pickles' most dysfunctional families wouldn't want to see this in the classroom.

We're getting off track.

Bibles

The IIPBA knows it to be a fact that children get bored reading the internet and that's full of brilliant stuff.  It's pie in the sky stuff Gabriel. Have a word with him won't you.

Concluding comments

In saying all of this, I really want to see what Michael Gove would write as a prologue to God.  A drawing of a penis on every page?  An attempted politicisation of Jesus (he's a compassionate conservative through and through) ?  Or would he just underline all of the dirty passages at the back.  We can only speculate.

All the best Gabriel - let us know how you get on

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